I’ve been in full on mommy mode since having my first baby about 5 months ago. Changing diapers, breastfeeding, rocking my baby to sleep, and entertaining him ’round the clock. And I couldn’t feel happier. This Mom thing is definitely what I am supposed to be doing.
I received tons of Mommy tips before my son arrived but there are lots of things that I wasn’t told. Here’s some of the ‘ish no one told me.
You will worry about everything. I spend most of the day wondering if he’s okay. From deciphering a cough to examining poop color and making sure his nostrils aren’t blocked. 🤷🏽♀️
Ambidexterityand doing everything with one handis essential. When my baby falls asleep in my arms, I would do anything to not disturb him. I’m left handed and before having him, I couldn’t do anything with my right hand. Not anymore!! I’ve learned to use whatever hand is free at the time. From changing diapers to washing dishes.
Learn how to hold your pee. Like a previously mentioned, disturbing a baby is the worst! Once they fall asleep in a certain position, know that you are stuck in the position you’re in until they wake up. Get ready to hold it for a looooong time!
Get used to living like a zombie. I haven’t had more than 3 hours of sleep at one time since my second trimester. My third trimester left me so uncomfortable that sleeping was a joke. Then after having the baby, the real sleepless nights set in. Either I’m up feeding and changing the baby or I’m up just staring at him all night making sure he’s okay.
Learn how to make up a song and dance at the drop of a hat. The art of distraction is key when taking care of a baby. Singing a song can quickly pivot a baby from crying to laughing. You can make up anything. They don’t care. So, tune up your vocal chords.
There’s much more I was never told but I’m always up for a surprise. So it’s all good! Cheers to all of the Moms and Dads out there making it happen. No matter what!
Is there something you learned when you became a parent that you did know anything about?? Drop it in the comments…
Some Fashion Not Fear pieces come from a sketched idea. But do they ever come out looking like what was sketched?? I will let you be the judge of that. Take a look at some of the sketches dropped before the item was made…
Sooooo, do they look like their sketch or nawl?! Which are your favorites from the collection?? Let me know in the comments…
I’m quite sure that I don’t have to go down the list of all of the things 2020 has brought to us. From the pandemic to marching for justice and the Presidential election…it’s been alot to say the least. I saw a meme that said,
“When my kid asks how about 2020. I’m gonna have to pour a drink first.”
I can definitely agree with that. It wasn’t until recently that I started to notice how much negatively we are bombarded with everyday. It occurred to me one night while I was watching the 10 o’clock news. The news started with a story about a family that lost some family members from the Corona Virus, then went on to how another family had 14 family members that contracted it (6 died), and they then dropped the bomb about how it is effecting young kids more than they initially thought. From there they shared stories of people who were homeless as a result of losing their job, the businesses that have been shut down because of the pandemic. I looked at the clock and it was 10:12. 12 minutes of pure sadness. It was overwhelming. Granted….I agree that we need to be informed about the important things that are going on in the world but DAMN!!! Did anything happen that was slightly good? Did someone rescue a dog or something??
It was at that moment that I realized it was time for me to go back to not watching the news. About 2 months into the pandemic, I had to stop watching the news and scrolling online because it was just too much. But I slowly began paying attention to it again. Not anymore, I’m back to avoiding the news and any other negative stories that come up. I want to be informed but not overwhelmed. Ya’ feel me?
All of this has required me to make some serious changes…asap. For not only my own mental health but also for the happiness for my family. If I’m not happy, how can they be??
Here are 5 things I’m doing to keep my sanity during these crazy times…
(My boys)
#1. Concentrating On The Good Things That Are In My Life Right Now
I had my first baby in May. Got married in July. Im healthy and so is my family. We all have roofs over our head and food. I have so much to be grateful for. Concentrating on that really helps.
#2. Getting Out Of The House
The baby and I don’t go anywhere (at all) except for my moms house. But that doesn’t mean we have to stay in the house all. I make every effort to get out of the house to enjoy some sun and break up the madness. We take drives to look at houses or to explore new areas. You will be surprised what difference a 30 minute ride will make.
#3. Avoiding The News, CNN, and all other outlets that report on whats going on right now
No news, no scrolling to read stories on CNN.com or anything like that. Even when I’m on social media, I scroll right past any stories that are about negativity. It’s just to too much right now. It’s not like I’m missing anything major because people on my life always seem to send a text message or a link to a story they feel is important. Thanks alot, family.
#4. Exercising
Investing in a piece of equipment to go into my home is one of the best things I’ve ever done. I don’t have to worry about outside germs or who will watch my baby. I get to jump on my cycling bike and work out some stress.
#5. Retail Therapy
Even you haven’t noticed…everyone and their Mama have having some type of sale. And I’ve taken full advantage of it! There’s something about getting something new in the mail that gives me a pick me up. Put a couple of dollars to the side and give it a try.
These actions might seem small but they really help me to get through these trying times. Hopefully, they will help you too. Are you feeling overwhelmed with everything that’s going on in the world right now?? If so, how do you deal with it? Let me know in the comments…
We all want to be as fit and healthy as possible. Alas, sometimes that’s easier said than done. If we’re going to be our fittest self, then we’ll need to be motivated to get started. But that’s not all. While it would be nice to think that our determination would see us reach our goals, that’s not the case. Oftentimes, people make a few key errors that help their progress back. In this blog, we’ll take a look at some of the more common mistakes, and also offer advice on how you can maximize the results from your efforts.
There’s No Plan
You can’t just walk blind and hope to reach the top of the mountain. You need to plan a route for how you’ll get there. The same principle can be applied to fitness. While it’s fine to just freestyle your gym efforts while you’re still getting into the habit of going, soon you’ll want to come up with a plan that’ll lead to results. There’s a right and wrong way to do things, after all. So take time to think about what you’re trying to achieve from your exercise efforts, and make sure you’re doing the things that’ll lead to the results you’re looking for.
Making the Same Mistakes
Some people fall into the trap of thinking that, because they’re doing exercise, they’re able to do whatever they want. But this isn’t the case. Your efforts at the gym (or wherever else) will be the starting point; they’re not everything. Let’s think about this: how much progress could a person expect to make if they visit the gym for one hour twice a week, but spend the rest of their time lying on the couch? If you’re going to reach your fitness goals, then it’s a good idea to look at wholesale lifestyle changes. What aspects of your current lifestyle are compromising your fitness? Making these subtle yet impactful changes can make a big difference.
Correct Technique
It’s all good and well visiting a gym and working up a sweat, but if you’re not using the correct technique, then it’s likely that you’re not making as much progress as you might think. Before you dive too deep into your workout regime, make sure that you’re using the equipment correctly. An hour spent with a professional can do a world of good, for instance. They’ll be able to correct your technique and also offer many other useful pieces of information that’ll allow you to get the most from your workout.
Cheat Days
As we mentioned earlier, it’s also to fall into the trap of thinking that, just because you’re working, you’re able to do whatever you want. This can involve living a lifestyle that’s far too sedentary, but also eating unhealthy foods. You may be able to keep the status quo in place by hitting the gym, but you won’t make as much progress as you would like. So try to limit the number of ‘cheat days’ that you have. Eating an unhealthy meal every couple of weeks won’t make much of a difference. Eating fast food after every workout because you’ve earned it will have a negative impact, however. So do your best to have a mindful approach to the food that you’re eating; it really will make a difference.
Maximizing Returns
We’re always learning more about fitness and the right and wrong ways to undertake a fitness journey. There are things you can do that can push you in the right direction by giving you a slight edge. For example, you’ll find that you build more muscle by eating high-protein foods in the thirty minutes following a big workout. It’s not just about what you do after the workout, either — your mindset during the workout can also make a big difference. The Mind Muscle Connection is a science-backed approach that can yield great results, for instance. If you’re looking to get the most from your workouts, then these are the kinds of things that you should be thinking about.
A Lack of Consistency
Once you’ve found your ideal workout routine, be sure to stick with it. Jumping around too much will just confuse your body. Remain consistent and committed to what you’re doing when you’re working out at the gym.
No Time
We’re all busier than ever before. We all have many responsibilities, which means we can’t always do what we would like to do. And this, of course, includes working out. While you might be excited to begin your fitness journey, if you don’t have much time, then there’s only so much you can do. While you can’t magic more time out of thin air, there are things you can do that’ll help save time. For example, you could prepare a gym bag so that all you need to do is grab the bag on your way out and head to the gym. It’s also recommended that you choose a gym that’s close to your home. You might be lured by the facilities or price of one gym in your area, but if it’s too far away, then you’ll be less inclined to make the trip, especially if you don’t have much time to work with.
Elsewhere, you can look at how you’re spending your time. Many people think they’ve got no free time, but when you actually take a closer look at things, you might find that you’re spending many hours doing, well, nothing at all. Many people claim that they have much more free time when they give up social media (and overall smartphone usage), for example. It’s all about priorities. If you want to get fit and healthy, then you might have to sacrifice some of the time you spend doing other things.
It’s Not Enjoyable
Everything is so much easier to do if we enjoy the activity. When it comes to getting into shape and improving your fitness, it’s recommended that you find an activity that you inherently enjoy. Most people choose to spend time in the gym because they have everything you need to get fit. But if you’re one of those people that really doesn’t like the gym, then it’ll be best to find a different activity instead. There are plenty to choose from! And while other activities may not be as effective as spending time in the gym, ultimately, if you end up doing another activity frequently, you’ll see results. It’s much better to spend 3 -4 hours a week doing something you like rather than forcing yourself to spend an hour in the gym.
A few days ago, I posted about how this whole pandemic has changed my style. I’m all about comfort right now. I couldn’t tell you the last time I wore shoes or made sure that my bag matched my ‘fit.
That is what gave created the idea of the Let’s Chill Set. I wanted to make something that is comfortable but sexy at that same time.
This set has all of the stretchiness you need to be comfortable while you’re laying around on the couch or rummaging through the fridge for your 20th snack of the day.
This is the first Fashion Not Fear drop since my return from maternity leave. Let me know your thoughts in the comments…
Before the pandemic, I was all about dressing up. I’m talking form-fitting dress, heels and the perfect accessories to match. This was my go-to look all day, everyday.
Although, I still love wearing dresses, I can’t tell you the last time I’ve worn heels (even though I’ve bought new ones) and my accessories are very minimal. It’s so bad these days that I think I’m doing good when I’ve changed out of my night clothes from the night before. To say my style has changed since this whole COVID thing is an understatement.
Here’s how I noticed things have changed…
I’ve been working from home for the past several years. While my fiancé works out of the home. Before the pandemic, even on my lazy days, I’d make sure that I was “cute” before he got in the house this evening. I mean, it was so important for me that he likes what he sees when came home. This is still super important to me but nowadays, my idea of being “cute” when he gets home is brushing my teeth and making sure my oversized shirt has no stains on it. There was a day during the pandemic when I found out all of the effort didn’t matter as much as I thought it did.
I put on a cute dress, light makeup, did a lik’ extra something to my hair. I even put the shoes that I would wear with the outfit by the door so he can capture the entire look. About an hour after he got home, I started to started making dinner. Before I got into it he says, “are you gonna put on something more comfortable?” I reply, “I wanted to look cute for you!” His response was the best;
I’ve been in full quarantine looks ever since. Oversized tees, biking shorts, t-shirt dresses, etc. It’s one of the best compliments he could’ve ever given me.
The lounging, comfy clothes have been fun. But I’ll admit that I can’t wait to put on a sexy dress, heels, and red lipstick to celebrate the re-opening of the city (COVID free, of course). Until then, you’ll find me working at home in my comfy, oversized tees.
What about you? Has the pandemic changed your style? Let me know in the comments…
If you haven’t noticed, Ive been on a hiatus for a lil’ bit over a month now.I’ve missed keeping you all posted so much.I hope that you have missed reading Fashion Not Fear as much as I’ve missed writing it.
Now, that Ive gotten that out of the way.Let’s get to the reason why I’ve been missing in action.Well, because I had my baby boy!!!!He was born about one month ago.And it has been the best time of my life!!
Although…it started out as the scariest time of my life.
You see, I had a c-section scheduled because he was breech.So, I felt comfort in knowing the day and approximate time that he’s supposed to be born.Per my doctors request, I went to the hospital about 1 week before the scheduled date to take a COVID-19 test.Then left, with a long list in my head off all of the things I had to do before he was born.
Unfortunately, that list didn’t last long.
Two days after taking the test, I’m laying in the bed with my fiancé and my water broke.It literally woke me out of my sleep.“My water broke!”I tell him.He jumps out of bed, completely disregards the hospital bag we already packed, and starts running around the room.While I’m standing in the hallway, leaking, he’s looking of clothes, shoes, calling my Mom…this is the first time I’ve seen him shook.But it won’t be the last time.
We finally make it to the hospital sans pants.Yep, I rode all the way to the hospital wearing only a t-shirt while sitting on a towel.So I found myself trying to put on a pair of my fiancé sweatpants quickly before the nurse that was bringing out a wheelchair made it to the car.Not to mention that my mom, nephew, brother, and sister-in-law beat us to the hospital.So,they were there with their cameras out as we pulled up.They were not allowed inside due to COVID-19 so that was the most they could be involved.
After that, things happened so fast or so it seemed.
I was so anxious about the pain to come. Thankfully, I didn’t feel any contractions.The nurses told me that I was having some but I didn’t feel a thing.A couple of hours after we arrived, my doctor came in the room, gave me an exam and said, “Okay, we are going to get you ready for a c-section.”
They walk me into the operating room for an epidural.The last thing I remember before the baby arrived was holding my fiance hand asking, “Am I holding onto your hand too tight?”The next thing I know,I wake up with the baby laying in a bassinet beside me while my fiancé was sleeping on the couch.Once he woke up he gave me all of the ghory details about my surgery and what he saw.He was shook.Yet again.
Im not gonna lie, healing through a c-section has been hard. Simple things like getting up from a chair and picking up the baby has been difficult because Im so independent.But my fiancé has been amazing and very patient.My mother has been a great help, too.
We are just so grateful that he’s here.The pain from surgery, sleepless nights, trying to decode his crying spells, constantly wondering if he’s okay, figuring out breastfeeding…its all worth it!None of it matters when I look at him.I just want to love on him all day. He really is the best thing I’ve ever made!
So, today starts my first day back from maternity leave.Im back to creating content, sewing, building up Blue Labels Boutique and my fashion brand.All of that while being a top notch mother to my son.I know it won’t be easy but nothing ever is and I love a challenge.
Now, without further ado…meet my son, Aayan.
4 Days Old!
Any tips on balancing it all? Let me know in the comments…
The Fashion Not Fear logo is about showing the world just how fearless women can be. It’s about being strong, confident, and fashionable enough to feel like you can take over the world. Accomplishing your dreams and pushing through boundaries (even in heels).
The logo means even more to me nowadays with everything that’s going on in the world. Choosing fear at a time like this will drive you damn near crazy! Fear has no place when you have to battle something.
Here are 4 pieces available right now, that have the FNF logo.
This quarantine isn’t easy for anybody. For me, I haven’t gone stir crazy. I mean not yet anyway. I guess because I worry about my family so much. (Not that no one else does.). But I’m the type of person who talks to my fiancé his entire ride as he heads to work, because I like knowing he arrived in one piece. I pray for his safety while he’s gone. Then we check on eachother by text or phone throughout the day. After work, we talk the entire ride home. Honestly, we are like this anytime we leave eachother. Sooo, knowing that he’s safe and secure at home with me is just the way I like things. He likes it too. (I think. Lol)
With the stay-at-home order in place, I’ve had more down time on my hands. To say the least. I’ve found myself doing much more social media scrolling and interview watching than ever before. One common topic has been how hard the quarantine has been on couples relationships. It’s kind of sad when you think about. We haven’t been on quarantine but a few weeks, at most. And if you’re bout to kill eachother in this small amount of time, what’s to happen when it gets extended? (Because I’m sure it will.)
I’m no professional or anything but here are some things we’ve done as a couple to keep the love during lockup.
#1 Break out the Board Games – Monopoly or Scrabble might have sounded like wack childs play before quarantine but try it now. Loads of fun! No seriously.
#2 Watch Concert & DJ Live-streams On IG – There are so many artists right now doing music competitions and concerts. This past weekend we watched a battle between T-Pain and Lil’ Jon. It was amazing! We turned it up loud, my fiancé had some drinks, and we danced like we were in the club. Don’t sleep on them. It’s a good time!
#3 Trying new recipes to make together. Cooking is always a good way to bond. Who doesn’t like to eat. There are tons of places online to get food inspiration and new recipes. Finding new ones should be easy. As a matter of fact, my timeline is full of them. 🤦🏾♀️.
#4 Have a Spa-day! Give eachother a mani/pedi or a massage. Break out those face masks you’ve had under the bathroom cabinet forever. He may have said “no” to a mask before. But it should be easy to convince him now. What else is he doing?
#5 Play video games…together. You might be used to him doing his own thing when it comes to gaming. I know I am. But change it up and play with him. Try upping the ante by betting a dollar on the game, or maybe the winner has to strip?! He’ll love playing with you after that. Guaranteed!
#6 Get your alone time. No matter how much you love and adore eachother. We all need a break at some point. When you feel the need to get away, do that! Go to a different room and do your hobbies, watch your “girly” show he doesn’t like, or read a book. Whatever you like to do on your alone time is up to you. This will give him time to do his, too.
#7 Take a night stroll – Sure, you can certainly go out and take a walk during the day. But I’ve found there to be lots of people out at that time doing the same thing. There’s something romantic about going out at night and taking a nice stroll around your neighborhood.
#8 Netflix, Hulu, Prime & Chill – I’m sure this is not a new one on your list, by any means. But now you have more time than ever to binge on a a new show or a classic you’ve always wanted to watch. Gather some snacks and enjoy!
#9 Become An Artist – Creating a piece of art on canvas is simple and super inexpensive. All you need is canvas, paint, brushes and your creativity. Plus, you can online shop at several places, Michaels.com, for instance, and they will bring it out and put it in your trunk for you. You don’t even have to get dressed!
#10 Make It A Karaoke Night – You can go on YouTube and find lyrics to almost any song. If you don’t have a microphone, use a brush, or anything you can get your hands on. Then sing the night away!
These ideas should keep the two of you occupied for a while. Another tip is to be patient, this won’t last forever. And when you feel him getting on your last nerve, remember why you fell in love in the first place.
Which are your favorite tips?? What would you add?? Drop them in the comments…
If you were to look up fearless, in the dictionary, you will see that it’s defined as an adjective that means to be withoutfear; to beboldorbrave;intrepid. When it comes to fearlessness, I find that there are usually two kinds of people. Those that are perfectly happy following rules and paths that were set by someone else. They go with the flow in every aspect of their life ensuring that they don’t “rock the boat” in anyway to have a calm, predictable yet fulfilling life.
The other group of people will flip the boat all the way over in order to find their true happiness even though it’s the “road less traveled” and has unknown results.
Fear is probably one of the most powerful feelings we possess. Think about this…What keeps you at a job for 10 years when you knew that you despised it after 2?? It was the fear of not being able to find another job that will actually make you happy while paying the bills.
What keeps people in a longterm relationship despite the fact that they hate coming home because they have to see him or her? I’ll tell you…it’s the fear that you won’t find anyone else. You are afraid to be alone, miserable, and sex-less for the rest of your life.
Fear controls so much of what because the fear of the unknown is too much to bear. Especially if what you have been doing is working. But the truth is…everything is unknown. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Even if you are one that plays by the rules.
Most of my life was spent living in fear. Sitting in a cubicle at the same job for over 13 years knowing that it would lead to nothing but a steady paycheck. Afraid to apply for a nicer car than the one that I was driving because I was afraid to be declined by the bank. Fearful of submitting an application to be a fitness trainer because I was afraid they wouldn’t think I was “fit enough” (even though I spend hours weekly exercising). Staying in a unhealthy, miserable relationship because I was too afraid of what would happen after breaking up with him. Yep, fear controlled every single part of my life. Until one day, out of the blue, I sat for a long while pondering, “what the hell am I so afraid of?”. And just like that, I threw fear right out the window and started making moves.
Being fearless doesn’t mean you’re not scared of anything. It just means that you are putting the fear to the side and doing it anyway. If you truly want to live the life you’ve always dreamed of? Why not try? Hell, I’m still trying to get there! But this journey is much more fun and exciting that what I had going on before taking the leap.
If you are ready to take a leap into “the fearless life”, take a look at these 7 tips that can help you get there:
Haters will hate and there’s nothing that you can do about it. You have to learn to not let others criticism of your choices, affect your path. Remain confident that you will accomplish the goals you’ve set, no matter what others think. Need help coming up with responses? Try these: “It’s nice of you to offer advice but I’m good. Thanks for offering!” “Yes, I’m sure this is what I want to do” “I’ve done my research and I’m on the path to fixing the issue” “Thanks for the referral! I’ll be sure to contact him/her if I need help”
Learning when to keep your business to yourself can be really hard but really effective. A new business ideas can be so exciting that you can’t wait to share with others. But think before you speak. Unfortunately, telling everyone about your next move will only lead to increasing your fear. People love giving unsolicited advice. Keep your new ideas, plans, or goals to yourself until you have gotten to a point where they can see it happening. Let your actions do the talking.
Tip 3: If At First You Don’t Succeed, Dust Yourself Off And Try Again
Trial and error will happen more than you might expect in your new fearless life.Somethings work out the first time and some don’t. That’s okay. It isn’t about how many times you fall down. It is about how many times you get back up. Overcoming challenges is part of the game. Learn from it and keep it moving.
Social media has its benefits and drawbacks, for sure. Who doesn’t enjoy scrolling through IG pics of Bey shopping at the finest stores and opening successful businesses with her seemingly perfect family in tow. Remember, everyone is different and we all have different paths. Comparing yourself to others won’t do anything but hurt in the end. You will never find your own path. The only difference between successful people and you is their drive and determination. YOU are YOU…be confident in that. Find your own path to follow and let it take you wherever YOU want to go.
Life isn’t a dress rehearsal. As far as we know, its’ one and done. Make the most of every opportunity that presents itself and say “yes” more than you say no. You never know what can happen!
Tip 6: Remind Yourself, “What’s The Worst That Can Happen?”
Taking risks for a bigger reward is definitely scary but what’s the worst that can happen? You may be told, “no” and you may even have to try something else. Last I checked, no one died from hearing the word “no” or from failing at something.
I’m a true believer that if you see it, it will come. There are things that I have put up on my vision board that seemed so far fetched. But they have happened. So get to cutting and pinning, girl! There is no vision that is too big.
Always remember that confidence is key, set small goals that will lead to bigger ones and don’t look back! Good luck on your road to fearless living!
Do these tips sound reasonable? What would you add if anything?? Let me know in the comments…
