Tag: fearless living

  • I Almost Passed Out When I Was Asked To Participate In This.

    I Almost Passed Out When I Was Asked To Participate In This.

    A few months back, I received an email that left me stunned…

    It read (in part)

    “I am curating an exhibit at the Institute of Texan Cultures (A Smithsonian Affiliate museum) to feature Black designers. I am looking for original designs that can be put on display. That can be clothing, shoes, accessories doesn’t matter just as long as it is an original design by a Black designer from or in Texas.”

    YES!!!!! Was my answer before I got to the part where she asked if I was interested.

    She went on to say it will be on display in September. She also said a sketch of the item will be needed for approval.

    I couldn’t believe she asked me. It was such a big deal. I had to knock it out of the park.

    I knew exactly what fabric I wanted to use for the dress. It had a unique pleated design that I’d been eyeing for a very, long time. Plus, it came in the PERFECT shade of blue.

    I whipped up a sketch of my dress idea and sent it to her by email. Providing all of the fabric details (of course!)

    Fashion not fear blue dress illustration

    She loved the idea!

    “What will the dress be made of?” – she asked.

    “Pleated chiffon.” I proudly answered.

    So, it was set! I would be making a dress to be displayed in a museum for all to see. Plus, I was asked in May, the display wasn’t until September so I had plenty of time! Right??

    Wrong!

    I received a follow up email in June asking about the status of the dress. I had the sketch and knew where I going to buy the fabric from. That was about it.

    Why is she asking so early was my first thought. Instead, I told her about my progress or lack of.

    “Can you have it don’t by July 20th?” was her reply.

    “Sure!” I answered. But I was sweating bullets. Then, I felt puke at the back of my throat.I thought I had a good 4 weeks!

    The weeklong family vacation that was already planned and paid for left me with only 1 week to make this dress!!!

    Could I do it?? I knew I work good under pressure but this type of pressure was too much! It is too soon in my sewing career to think making this dress was going to be a piece of cake. Something ALWAYS goes wrong. Always.

    And it did! First up, I found out that the fabric couldn’t get to me in time. I needed this fabric!! What was I going to do??

    Make it happen! That’s what. And that what I did.

    After a week of sleepless nights filled with looking for new fabric and sewing; the dress was safely dropped off to a coordinator at the Texas Cultures Institute in San Antonio, Tx.

    The design is a bit different from the sketch. Especially since I had to change the fabric. But I love it so much! Stay tuned to find out how the dress turned out and how you can go check it out in person.

    Thoughts?? Let me know something special you have going on right now in the comments…

    Stay Fearless 💋

  • The Life & Times Of A Fearless Entrepreneur Vol. 1

    The Life & Times Of A Fearless Entrepreneur Vol. 1

    Its 2019!!!  Can you believe it?? 

    I, for one, can’t even explain how happy I am that 2018 is over.  Last year, was probably the worst year of my life.  Not business-wise; on a personal level.  

    cutting fabric


    2018 started off amazing.  I made some new business connections, transitioned BLB from offering all types of womens clothes to becoming a dress only boutique.  Then, I took it to another level by creating a handcrafted collection. 

    The year was really going well for me!  After making clothes for models in the SPIRIT Fashion Show,  I knew designing and sewing the clothes was exactly what I should’ve been doing all along.  It just felt right.   Although, it was always part of the plan, I’ll admit that I was always too afraid to get started.  damn fear.

    blue labels boutique pop up shop

    Selling Fashion Not Fear at various pop up shops, I was able to get instant feedback from people.   It’s so funny how scared I was to hear what people had to say about the dresses I created.  But it didn’t take long for me to realize that it was so important for me to suck it up (good or bad). Using their feedback as a tool to make the line even better was the key. And that is just what I was starting to do. Everything was going amazing.  Then the Summer hit…

    mama and nephew holding hands at cemetery

    I lost my Uncle and Dad within 2 months of each other during the Summer.  Two of the most important men in my life.  Gone.  Just like that.  Thing have been somewhat blurry since then.  

    The rest of the year was totally different. Spending every single moment with my Mom to support her became the priority. It affected everything. Things with BLB, FNF, Bae…it was all fucked up. Sewing became more frustrating than ever before.  Crying fits while at a pop up was common. Don’t get me started on blogging or writing of any kind. 

    It got to a point where I was counting the days since he had left us.  Eventually, my fiancé gave me a heart to heart talk about it.  “It’s not healthy to do that, baby.  I really don’t think you should be counting down the days like that.  Focus on more positive things about him.”  and more along those lines. He was right.  I was going down the wrong path and didn’t even realize it.    

    lit christmas tree

    Thanksgiving and Christmas was the worst, though.  We always have a big party on Christmas Eve and we kept the tradition alive this year.  However, my Mom and I spent the beginning of the party in her room crying like babies.  Mixing those tears with drinking New Orleans themed Hurricanes lead to a very interesting Christmas Eve.  To say the least.  

    Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

    NYE celebration began the way I usually bring it in. With family, shit talking and champagne.  We laughed, cried, played games, and cried even more reminiscing about those we have lost.  The next morning, I did my usual New Year routine.  I cracked open my journal and wrote down my goals for the year.  Normally, I have a page full of stuff.  But not this time.  This years list had about 10 things on them.  10 really, big goals that would put me and business on another level.  All of which, I can accomplish.  

    hanging clothes on rack

    2018 gave me a serious reality check that this will all come to an end at some point. It has pushed me to want to do more than ever before.  I mean, I’ve always known that death is enviable.  The year taught me to cherish my loved ones and hustle my ass off.

    Balance will be the key in 2019. No doubt. I’ve already began to make some moves that will lead to entirely new territory.  I can’t wait to share the journey. Look out for my monthly Life & Times Of A Fearless Entrepreneur update.  

    For now though, I want to give 2018 a bag FUCK YOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!!!  And say Helloooooooooooooo, 2019, let’s do this!

    How are you feeling about the New Year? Let me know in the comments…

    Stay Fearless 💋

  • Fearless Quotes To Get You Through The Week

    Fearless Quotes To Get You Through The Week

    A good quote can do wonders for someone’s mood. Especially when it seems to be speaking to you.  Use these quotes to get you through the week if you find yourself in a fearless slump!

    Fearless Woman quoteIMG_6088IMG_6424IMG_6452IMG_7579IMG_9021IMG_9368

    Which mantra is your favorite? Or what do you do when you need to refuel your fearlessness? Let me know in the comments…

    Stay Fearless 💋

  • 4 Tips To Help Get You Through A Fearless Slump

    4 Tips To Help Get You Through A Fearless Slump

    I’ve said this at least a million times on Fashion Not Fear, so I’m sure you’d heard it before but here it goes again…Being fearless is hard!  I mean really hard.  Giving up and just letting yourself go where life takes you is one thing.  But can you imagine waking up everyday to slay the fear dragon by any means necessary?  When you’re living the fearless life, you HAVE to!  Because fear will come up constantly.  Quitting and letting the chips fall where they may isn’t an option for a fearless woman.  Nope…choosing to not let fear run you is like a job.  The pay and benefits are amazing but you have to put in the work to reap the benefits.  

    I’ve said this at least a million times on Fashion Not Fear, so I’m sure you’d heard it before but here it goes again…Being fearless is hard!  I mean really hard.  Giving up and just letting yourself go where life takes you is one thing.  But can you imagine waking up everyday to slay the fear dragon by any means necessary?  When you’re living the fearless life, you HAVE to!  Because fear will come up constantly.  Quitting and letting the chips fall where they may isn’t an option for a fearless woman.  Nope…choosing to not let fear run you is like a job.  The pay and benefits are amazing but you have to put in the work to reap the benefits.  

    pen calendar to do checklist
    Photo by Breakingpic on Pexels.com

    Just a few days ago, I woke up, looked at the long list of things to do for an upcoming pop up shop in Austin, and for a millisecond thought….”I can’t do this. It’s too much.”  The fear within me tried to convince me to quit working on my pieces and not do the show.  What was the harm?  That would be the easy thing to do, right?  But being fearless and quitting your goals don’t work together at all.  So, instead of letting fear settle in, I jumped up, pinned that list to my vision board and got to work!

    Fearless women phone case blue hood

    Fear shows up all of the time.  And not just the fear you have within yourself but fear that others have that they try to put on you.  For instance, a few weeks ago I’m riding in the car with my fiancé and step brother.  During our ride, the ideas on how to run a business came up.  Admist this conversation, my step brother proceeds to tell me that he knows that I have a “little business” but one of our cousins and my step sister are really the “smart ones”.   They can grow a great business together (according to him).  Meanwhile, I started a business from the ground up 4 years ago and have been doing my thang!!  At that moment, I could’ve let his fears hinder me, “maybe he’s right. they are smarter than me?  my little business isn’t going anywhere.”  But instead, I chuckled to myself, thanked God for my fearlessness and business savvy, and kept it moving.

    Processed with VSCO with hb2 preset

    To be honest, I will have you here all day if I listed all of the moments that fear tried hinder me from doing something.  Or when fear from others tried to jump onto my spirit.  But it’s not happening!  If you have found yourself in a fearless slump, don’t worry, your girl is here for you!  Here are 3 ways that I keep myself fearless tank on full:

    # 1 – Know that you don’t have to prove anything to anyone but yourself.  Its like someone who is rich and feel the need to tell you all of the time.  Or someone who is educated yet they feel the need to constantly tell you about all of the degrees that they have.  If you got it, you don’t have to say it.  If fearlessness lives within you, there isn’t a need to tell everyone who comes into your face that you’re fearless.  It will show in your walk and your actions.  Be confident about your journey and remember why you started.  

    # 2 – Don’t be so hard on yourself.  There will be times when you just aren’t feeling it.  Don’t get down.  Give yourself a few minutes to worry and doubt yourself, then let it go.  Who has time or a pity party?! 

    # 3 – Fuck What You Heard –  Don’t let others tell you what you can or cannot achieve.  They aren’t you.  We are all uniquely different so how are they gonna tell you what you can do?  Although, getting them to shut up about it might be easier said then done.  The listening part is up to you.  Nicely advise them that you weren’t asking for their opinion.  Or walk out of the room until the conversation changes.  But never let the see you sweat.  K.I.M…Keep it moving!

    # 4 – Take A Break – Do something that doesn’t require thought, fearless or anything at all for that matter.  Sometimes you have to get away and rejuvenate.  Take a walk outside and get some vitamin D, watch something funny on Netflix or your favorite podcast, read a chapter from the book you have yet to crack open.  Doing something mindless to give you brain a break for the fearless resurgence you need.

    I truly believe however, that what is for you is FOR YOU and no one can take that away.  Not friends or family, fear or anything else, as long as you put in the work to get to where you want to be.  Keep your head up, stay positive, and do you!!  Which tips were your favorite or what do you do when you are in a fearless slump??  Let me know in the comments…

    Stay Fearless 💋

  • Confidence Tips From A Mom, Sleepologist, and Confidence Expert

    As you know, last week, we began a new series where we asked everyday women about confidence.  We all go through ups and downs in life.  But it is not what we go through, it’s how we get through it that counts.  In my opinion, confidence is key in it all.  I mean if you don’t believe it, you can’t achieve it right?  Confidence is important whether you are starting a new business or going out on a first date.  Which is why I wanted to know what other ladies thought about it.   We asked a mom, sleep expert, and confidence expert; “What makes you feel confident?”

    pic of Becky Mckeown

    “When I need a little extra boost I put on my colored contacts and sexiest heels while listening to 80s music which always gives my sexy back. I have survived 30 surgeries so sometimes those pity party so hit but fastest way I beat it!!”

    – Becky McKeown; Mother/RN

    Sveti Williams

    I am a Sleepologist (sleep consultant) I help people sleep well. I teach seminars for corporate businesses, everyday crowds and schools on how to sleep well. I always need to look and be confident as I stand on stages in front of big audiences. My biggest help is : wearing makeup particularly my eye liner and red lipstick. Without eyeliner I can’t speak I get shy and lose my momentum in stage. I have to have it for my confidence. Without makeup I feel small, unattractive and even pale and sick.

    – Sveti Williams; Sleepologist

    erika cramer

    “I am a confidence coach. I specialise in empowering women to reclaim their confidence and step into their FULLY expressed selves with no filter. Being who they are as is. And knowing that they are enough.”  – Erika Cramer; Confidence Coach

    Thoughts on their tips? Or have one you’d like to share??? Let me know in the comments…

    Stay Fearless 💋

  • We Asked Every Day Women, “What Makes You Feel Confident?”

    Part of living fearlessy is confidence.  As a matter of fact, 99% of being a fearless woman is having confidence in yourself and your abilities.  Because whether or not other people think you can achieve something means absolutely nothing.  At the end of it all, it all comes down to you.  If YOU don’t believe it, you won’t achieve it.  I truly believe that.  This is why I feel confidence is key when it comes to your fearless journey.

    You can be the most confident woman in the world but there will come a time when you have a down day.  It’s totally normal.  Would you agree?  That is why I reached out to other women to see what they do to build up their confidence.  The response was so overwhelming that I decided to break in down into a mini series.  These woman had some awesome words of confidence t share.  And I didn’t want you to miss any of them.  Take a look at what these everyday women had to say when asked, “What makes you feel confident?”

    picture of Martha Krejci

    “I wake up around 6:30am, stumble into the kitchen for my first cup of joe. First things first. That sets the tone. I sit at the kitchen table at 7am and think about all of the good things in my life. Write them down and show real, genuine gratitude for them. …another tip is a gratitude journal, and not just the I’m thankful for this and that, but ADDING 10 new things to an ever growing list every single day. It trains you to see the good, and because of that, creates amazing days. I PREACH to do it in the morning instead of before you go to bed for this very reason. These are all things that not only help you be a morning person, but make you EXCITED to live your day, and even better, excited to live your LIFE! :)”
    – Martha Krejci, Co-Founder and CEO of TribeFinder

    pic of Mariette Reineke

    “For me confidence does not come from a dress, something I have to do or from anything outside of myself. What I have learned over the years and what I am still learning, is that presence is key. In other words: connecting with my body and having a relationship with myself. The more present I am, so my mind and body with what I am doing and not wondering off and checking out to the past or future, the more confident I feel. When I am with myself, simply being me, I feel a sense of knowing that whatever is in front of me, I can handle. Why? Because I am present with it. My body knows what to do next.”

    – Mariette Reineke, Journalist/Blogger 

    eugenia pepper

    I am a closest introvert. People don’t realise how shy I really am.  I have lots of tricks that I have used to overcome my shyness.  “Fake it to you make it” does work.   I visualise myself as confidence.  I used hypnosis and guided meditations for confidence. I started was in high school and it really helped and now I have become a hypnotherapist myself and have developed an app that had just been released.  Hypnotherapy, Mindfulness and Meditation do work to gain confidence and a better self image and can help you become more confident and step out of your introvert shell.  Body language is very important and adapting stances can make a big different.  When you are lacking confided or feeling nervous change your body posture – do a victory pose or wonder women pose and it can change you physiology, mood and mindset.  The photo above is of a surprise party for me. I was so nervous I did not want to enter on seeing a group of people with cameras all faced at me! My first instinct was to run away but knowing my training I knew I had to do the victory pose and embrace the moment and it worked.

    – Eugenie Pepper, Author of KEY MINDFULNESS – THE KEY FOR ME

    Thoughts on their awesome tips?  Or do you have a confidence tip to share??  Let me know in the comments.  Stay tuned for the next set of ladies!

     

    Stay Fearless 💋

  • Fearless Woman: CJ Scarlet

    CJ Scarlet knows first-hand how violence can destroy lives.   As a survivor of sexual assault, CJ spent years dealing with the emotional aftermath. After taking her power back, she became an advocate for others who had been victimized, running a child advocacy center and serving as Director of Victims Issues for the NC Attorney General’s Office.

    CJ decided to use her hard-won experience and knowledge to pen The Badass Girl’s Guide: Uncommon Strategies to Outwit Predators, the definitive guide on self-empowerment and self-defense for women and girls. From tips on how to “fail” the predator interview and avoid being targeted, to instructions on using your personal bodily “weapons” to defend yourself in a confrontation, this edgy book offers everything you need to know to stay safe, fight if you must and navigate the criminal justice process if the worst happens.

    CJ decided to take her experience and wrote a book entitled, The Badass Girl’s Guide: Uncommon Strategies To Outwit Predators.  Which tackles the main reason women and girls are so vulnerable to assault—their life-long socialization to “make nice” and their fear of appearing rude, which make them a perfect target for predators.

    This award-winning writer and motivational speaker has given speeches and workshops at national and international events,  appeared on numerous radio and television programs, including MSNBC and NPR. She has been named one of the “Happy 100” people on the planet, and her personal story of how she triumphed over her victimizations and a terminal medical diagnosis is featured in the bestselling books, Happy for No Reason and Be Invincible.

    You absolutely must heat CJs fearless story…

    Click here to check out her story!

    https://youtu.be/_bTyg_jf_NY

     

     

     

  • Do You Know How To Take A Compliment?

    Do You Know How To Take A Compliment?

    Receiving compliments from people was something that I used to HATE!  But I no longer do.  Maybe the way that I perceive compliments is different.  Let me explain…

     

    There was a time when I hated receiving compliments.  Because it was a job after that.  If someone told me I was “cute” at the office.  I’d smile and say, “thank you”.  But from that moment on, I felt like I had to make sure to be cute all of the time.  Every hair in place, dress fitting like a glove and face on beat.   Although, I’ve always put my best foot forward when I step out.  My theory at the time was, “keep your compliments, because I could have an off day and I don’t want to know what you think about it.”

    It was the same thing when dating.  For instance, I used to date this guy who made it his business to shower me with compliments.  Which sounds like a great thing.  But when he would invite me somewhere, he would give me tips like, make sure that you’re on point when you get to the club tonight or make sure you are wearing something sexy to dinner.  To me, this put too much pressure on me.  How are you gonna overdose me with compliments, then give me pointers on how to look when we go out together?  To me this meant, I could never have a down day, a day where my headrag stays on, and those leggings with the holes was an absolute no-no.  Obviously, he thought I woke up like that.  Needless to say, I had to get rid of his ass.  His compliments were just too much work for me.

    fashionnotfearhat

    It wasn’t until I got older that I realized that I hated compliments because of my own issues.  I cared about what people thought of me without even realizing it.  They were just being nice.  (Maybe not the ex-boyfriend)  But it was my issue not the person giving the compliment.  I was insecure and didn’t even know it.

    It was until the last few years that I realized that I’d overcome it. Having every hair in place, the perfect dress, and a beat face is just the surface.  I’m still the same person.  If others don’t see that, who cares??   “Nice dress” or “I like your nails” are taken totally different these days.  For instance, this past weekend my fiancé and I were out shopping.  While going though the aisles, I walked past a lady and said, “excuse me”.  After checking out and getting in the car my fiancé says,

    “the lady you walked by was really checking you out.  She was looking you up and down looking at your dress, shoes, and everything.”

    Back in the day, I would’ve thought the lady was being shady.  Not anymore.  My reply to him was;   

    “Really?! Well, I’ll take that as a compliment”.

    And went about my business.  Guess this fearless living thing has changed more than I thought?!  Here are some tips you can use if you find yourself in the same situation.

    Processed with VSCO with hb1 preset

    Be confident in who you are.  Once you get that down, no one can tell you anything!

    Smile.  There’s something about smiling (even when I’m faking it) that makes me feel good.

    Say Thank You

    Take it is as just a compliment.  Even if the person is being shady.  Don’t stoop to their level.  Like Kat Williams once said, “if you need someone to hate on, feel free to hate on me.”

     

    Is accepting compliments something that you have struggled with?  How do you handle it?  Let me know in the comments…

    Stay Fearless 💋

  • I Took A Quiz About Being Fearless From A 2010 “O” Magazine. This Is What I Found…

    I Took A Quiz About Being Fearless From A 2010 “O” Magazine. This Is What I Found…

    A few weeks ago, my fiancé and I were helping my mom with some Spring cleaning in my parents garage.  “This is going to be donated” and “This is going in the trash” were two of my most popular rants off the day after going through box after box of things I deemed “unnecessary”.  Until I ran across an Oprah Magazine from November 2010.   What made it different from all of the other magazines that went into the recycling bin is what was on the cover:  The Quiz That Reveals Whats Holding You Back and Helps You Move On page 176.   This was a sign.  I was meant to find this, right?!

     

    opera 2010 magazine
    I stashed the mag in my bag.  I can’t be caught keeping an old ass magazine when I had been going off all afternoon about how she needed to get rid of them.  Ya feel me?!  Nevertheless, after a long day of cleaning.  I went home, poured a glass of red and turned to page 176.   “What’s Holding You Back?”  8 questions will help me find out, huh?!  Well, let’s see what happens….
    oprah magazine 2010
    My answers ended up being mostly “E” responses on odd numbers and mostly “A” responses on even numbers.  Apparently, I’m ready for change.
    Processed with VSCO with a5 preset
    I can’t say that I was too surprised about the results.  Truth is, if I would’ve taken the quiz 5 years ago, the results would be COMPLETELY different.  I’ve been through everything question on the quiz.  Let me explain…
    quiz oprah 2010 magazine

    #1. Working in an office setting for over 13 years, so I knew all too well what is was like to to apply for another department.  I also knew getting declined all of the time because the managers’ friend was a better fit for the position, all too well.

    #2.  I started a business which helps to support me.  Which means, I have no desire to return to an un-fulfilling 9 to 5.   But 5 years ago, leaving a job to make money solely off my business made me want to faint.

    #3. I’ve always found happiness getting paid to do something else but it was much lower.  5 years ago, all i cared about the paycheck.  Now, it’s more than that.

    #4.  My boss has gotten fired.  5 years ago, I would’ve stayed.  Now, I would’ve taken that spot with no hesitation.

    #5. I have heard from the doctor that my body was reacting to stress.  5 years ago, that stressed me out.  Now, I shake stress off.  No time in my life for that to linger.

    #6. I did leave a long-term job to pursue my dreams.  5 years ago, I would’ve begged and pleaded to keep the job.

    #7. I started talking about owning a boutique before shopping online was a “thing”.  5 years ago, I didn’t think BLB would exist.  Look at me now!

    #8.  I did work in a bank but for much longer than 8 years.  And most of that was spent hating that I had to sit behind a desk all day.  I was drawn to fashion.  5 years ago, I would’ve stayed behind that desk and complained until retirement.  Now, if it doesn’t make me feel good, I’m out.  Period.

    After taking the quiz, I took a second to reflect on my fearless journey, so far.  I never realized just how far I have come.  Granted, I’m not where I want to be.  But I’m surely not where I was.  There was a time when I let fear hold me back from doing anything.  I didn’t want to disrupt what I thought was “normal”.  I didn’t want to go against the grain.  I just followed along to get along because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do.  But those days are long gone!
    oprah 2010
    Take the quiz, check out the results, and let me know, “What’s holding you back?”  in the comments…
    Stay Fearless 💋
  • Fearless Woman: Lauren Darlington

    Fearless Woman: Lauren Darlington

    Happy Fearless Woman Friday!  We are back with another episode of Fearless Woman.  Laurens’ story just might be the one you’re waiting on.

    When I started looking for women to feature in this installment, her story really stuck out to me.  Simply because she addresses fear in a way that I have yet to hear.  I will give you a clue.  Her email:

    Hi! I would LOVE to be apart of this as I know I have a message to share that can (and does) help so many. I believe being fearless is about knowing fear will always show up, she can come along for the journey with us but she does not have the driver seat. We show up and do the thing we want because we know we can even with fear.

    I have overcome self harm, suicide attempts, sexual trauma and crippling anxiety to travel solo overseas twice last year, start my own business and empower other women when I once wanted to end it all.

    If that isn’t being a fearless (or fear inclusive ;) ) woman I don’t know what is,

    Enough said.  After learning more about her background, I must agree.  Here is Lauren:

     Special thanks to Lauren for sharing such a personal story.  She is a true example of what it is like to go through mounds of obstacles…fearlessy!

    Lauren Darlington

    Feeling inspired??  Let me know in the comments…  Now, go out and do something fearless this weekend.

    Stay Fearless 💋

    Want to share you fearless story?  Send an email with a short bio to Kristie@bluelabelsboutique to apply.